WOMAN WALKS INTO A BAR BOOK REVIEW

ROWAN COLEMAN

You are joking, I said, straight-faced. You had be better bloody joking.

Exchanged looks over the canteen table.
Why would we be joking?
Leaning back in her chair.
Patting the pocket of her jacket in seach of her fags
She winked at Marie. Do I look like I´m joking?

Marie replied, even though she was laughing.

We really have set you up on a meeting, IN the polar artic ocean AT seven.

Are you excited? She sort of squealed  and bounced up and down  her chair as I spoke.

The kind of person who gets very excited over nothing much at all.
I put it down to her not having any kids.
If she had kids she´d be too knackered to get excited about anything. I was pissed off.

She tipped her chin back as far as it would go and blew smoke  into the air above the table because she knew that too much smoke in the air would make me need a blue inhaler, she seemed to have forgotten that stress makes me need it too.

Leant forward over the table and stubbed the buttof her fag out in a tinfoil ashtray.


through thick and thin= under all circumstances, no matter how difficult.

"they stuck together through thick and thin"

Re-stock feminine hygiene.

Stacking lot of clothes.

Stared at her

She sat down again.

´Look´, she said, starting to latch onto the idea that I was not very happy.

Drink bacardi breezers to warm us up.

Cheesy: cheap-bad quality, bad taste.

Cheesy smile: not real.

grin: smile

AT the end of the week.

Go on the pull

Dressed up to the nines  like were going to some West End hot spor.

Perfectly dressed in the most fashionable attire

Tall and skinny.

WENT END HOT SPOT

NO LOCAL PUB

Her blonde curls piled high: 

She´d tower over (tower over someone or something

to stand much taller than someone or something. Tom towers over his older brother, Stan. Tom towered over the littledesk he had been assigned to.) any man that dared to chat her up.

Slinky (ceñido)dress with all the right curves in all the right places.

SCRUBS UP PRETTY WELL= MOLESTA BASTANTE

To keep an eye on you.

blokes= tios, hombres

COLD HANDS, WARM HEART

Think Marie and me as your Bodyguards.

Blind dates are for sad bastards who cannot meet people in a normal way.

twich= contracción nerviosa

I said rolling my eyes like my daughter would have.
I reckon I must be the punch line(the culminating part of a joke,) because I tell you what, everyone else but me thinks it´s funny!.



wavy hair
Twinkly eyes to Wrinkly

WOBBLED: tambaleado. fat wobbled.

She had this kind of natural confidence that you made you want to look at her.

Slapper of the year= a promiscuous or vulgar woman.

Except for joy.I can smell her from here.

Shove= empujón

Sticking up for me: Dando la cara por mi.

Shaky: Tembloroso

Jaw= mandibula
dropped.
Let´s get away from these losers.

Bullying

Dread in the pit of my belly= espanto en la boca del estomago

Even though they had even worse names for her than they did for me, she´d always laugh it off and have something much funnier and more cruel to say back.

Outsiders: forasteros

screw your eyes up

 | 

screw your face up

 | 

screw your up eyes

 | 

screw your up face

to contract the muscles of your eyes or face because the light is too strong, you are in pain, etc.He took a sip of the medicine and screwed up his face.
mascara Wand= 
cocking her head  ladear la cabeza

catch someone's eye 

 and get someone's eye 

1. Fig. to establish eye contact with someone; to attract someone's attention. The shiny red car caught Mary's eye.When Tom had her eye, he smiled at her.

2. Fig. to appear and attract someone's interest. A small red car passing by caught my eye. One of the books on thetop shelf caught my eye, and I took it down to look at it.

waved the magazine article: agita

Chuckling into her cup of tea: 

Nan= 

She wasn´t cross

Shooting him over her shoulder: 
Telly: 
Rim of the mug: borde

God´s knows you deserve a bit of happiness.

Coco the clown  the most famous clown in the UK 

Baby wipe: 
wiped my face clean. limpiar la cara.

posh dinner: cena elegante

Let off the hook:  freed from an obligation. (Alludes to a fish freeing itself from a fishhook. *Typically: be ~; get ~; get someone ~;let someone ~.) Thanks for getting me off the hook. I didn't want to attend that meeting. I couldn't get myself off thehook no matter what I tried.

off the hook

having avoided a difficult situation

The one that you got in the sales. 

Skirt with a SPLIT on it: 

With an edge of sarcasm

Made her reassuring to be around

Nothing ever scared her.

 Took out a ciggie.

EastEnders is a British soap opera; the first episode was broadcast in the United Kingdom on BBC One on 19 February 1985. 

all on the balcony, no matter what the weather.

In fact, I spent most of the day ...

I´ll jinx myself.

Jinx: to give bad luck: traer la mala suerte. 

bubbling away 

gut

I decided not to rise to a bait.

1. A male or female that is appealing to the opposite sex.

when something is made blatantly obvious= cuando algo se hace claramente evidente

shrugged encogió de hombros

frowned

Turn up = aparecer